You - who say marriages sucks the life out of a good honest, hard working man... Desist. For I have succumbed to the worst fear known to men-kind...
The Man Flu.
Be afraid! For winter is upon us and the Man Flu will plague this land once more. You can fight, hide or shriek of your mother's maiden name, but your fate will be unavoidable. Its slimy cold tentacles will smother you with its germs while you sleep. Its dark ominous steps will creep through your hall ways. Your screams will be unheard. No one will come to your aid... Not even your girlfriend, mistress or wife! (Especially your wife).
For they do not understand the pain that is the man-flu. The suffering we go through is both physical and emotional. While our body is being ravaged by biological warefare, the minds of those affected are warped by its strange mystical powers. You women who mock and make fun of our dreadful misery - remember the emotion you went through on that overcast monday morning as you realised a pimple have suddenly erupted on your forehead without your prior permission. Now multiply it so it has filled all your facial pores with its uncontrolled rage and pus filled darkness. That kodak moment is a true picture of a Man Flu soul. The mucousy, pustulated sickly fingers of the disease prying away at their very heart, layer by layer.
You point and laugh at our pain. You fill your faces with such mirth and jovial circumstance. But I know you only do so because you don't understand the colossal suffering that is the common Man Flu.
I... have been afflicted.
Sympathies please.
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