1. Cease the incessent auditory insults by the likes of sad-ass FM.
2. Will indulge more in lyrical melodies of AC/DC, Metallica and Guns and Roses.
3. Get off my fat rear-end, go running & cycling instead of creating lame but novel excuses to do otherwise.
4. Get off my fat rear-end and go to the gym instead of creating even more lame but novel excuses.
5. Stop subscribing to the notion that lame & futile attempts at exercising will make myself look younger and more virile.
6. Will read more informative and philosophical texts so I may emerge from the dark abyss of middle life crisis.
7. Stop admiring Porsche as the greatest car in the world - it will deepen the dark abyss.
8. Continue to worship the romantic history of English literature, but wake up and realise modern British humour is blatantly simple-minded and absolutely terrible.
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